It has been 1 year today that Mom’s been gone. Accidentally (or not), this morning I was trying to find a saved vmail on my cell phone and there she was. I was stunned to hear her gritty voice telling me about the weather, about her breakfast and how I didn’t need to call her every day. I remember saving the message because she ended it with a long pause and then … “I love you” (something she seldom said unless it was said to her first).
For weeks after my mother died, I dreamed about her each night. And finally, a dream where she was in bed with my father and it was early, early morning. She wanted to get up and I wanted her to sleep “just a little longer, please”… the way you might want a young child to sleep in on a Saturday morning and give you a bit of time to yourself. My dad leaned over and said to me, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my eye on her.”
And all around her was broken glass. I freaked out that she would cut herself and kept trying to brush it away. Then I woke up.
The dream was upsetting, so I looked up ‘broken glass’ in a dream interpretation book. It represents transition or transformation. Hers? Mine? I believe it indicated transition for both of us, that she and my dad are together and I can stop worrying about her. And at random moments like this morning, she will reach out to let me know she loves me.
I played the vmail several times, then resaved it. She is missed…
Love you both!