On junk mail…

If you follow this blog at all, you are aware of my feelings about Kohl’s and their efforts to collect a late fee from my mother (which was paid in full months ago) … https://hereisakiss.wordpress.com/2012/06/11/paying-up/   We’ve actually disconnected the house phone, though to be fair, many of the calls these days are politic in nature (not sure why politics isn’t part of the ‘do not call’ registry).

Anyway, a letter recently arrived at our house for my husband’s late mother suggesting she switch to a new power company.  Here’s an excerpt from our reply:

My mother, Mary Jackson would love to speak to you regarding your ‘Direct Energy’ solicitation, sent to her at the above address. Mom was raised during the Depression and always looked for savings. 

We hope you will waive the residency requirement though, along with one other wish. See, Mom died twenty years ago (as her son and Executor of her Will, I had her mail forwarded here…and her soul, up there).  She would require an extension cord from this residence to Heaven.  Can you ‘hook us up’, so to speak.  And let me tell you, it would be mighty nice to look up at the night sky and see her light shining bright (er) than everyone else’s.

Another request …Would you please sell her mailing address to a life insurer who offers policies without the need for a physical? Dad died in 1978 and we recently received a solicitation, as described. I filled out and sent the application back, enclosing a copy of his death certificate.  Looking forward to receiving the check.

Like Steve Jobs was prone to do at the end of his presentations, “Just one more thing…,” a note that you have “joined forces” with our town admin. I checked the town-meeting minutes and read you offer a senior discount. Please be sure to sign Mom up.

Look forward to hearing from you!

Probably not…


About hereisakiss

Daughter Writer Art's Educator
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to On junk mail…

  1. dwlcx says:

    Love it — a little bit of poetic terrorism.

  2. Dave Cyr says:

    Excellent, Elizabeth! Great to have some fun with these kind of things!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s