Lately, I’m feeling old. Not exactly old … but … it’s like I’m becoming my mother. The other day I tried on a pair of shorts, looked in the store’s full-length mirror … and was horrified to see my mother’s legs. Or at least her chicken-thin thighs. Now, some of you are wishing you had thin thighs. I get it! But, these were my mother’s very thin and unattractive thighs. And even if they had looked good (which they did not), they were still hers. It was kind of creepy.
People tell me often, “You look just like your mother!” Not especially so, except when I make certain faces. And there’s one glaring look I tend to have when shocked, but not really shocked. Having never witnessed the look on my own face, I do almost feel her when I make it.
Anyway, about ten minutes after ogling my mother’s thighs, I’m at the register and reach into my purse to pay. Before I can grab my wallet though, I must remove many (many, many) crumpled tissues, old receipts and yes … a little pink packet of Sweet and Low (I do not use S & L and have no idea why it was there).
My hands flew back and I almost screamed. It was like reaching into Mom’s purse; though I’m pretty sure the tissue in mine was clean. You never knew with Mom.
Once while driving with her, I looked down at her pocketbook on the passenger floor of my car. Ants were crawling out of it. Immediately pulling over, I grabbed her bag and threw it out the window. Inside, besides all the ants, was a slightly rotten stalk of celery she’d swiped from the supermarket.
Me – WTF?
Mom (looking not the least bit guilty) – Damn crooks want me to buy a whole package when I only need a little piece to chop into my tuna salad. Adds a lot of flavor, you know!
So, the other day, standing at the register with a pile of crumpled tissue between us, I asked the clerk if she used Sweet & Low, then gave her one of my mother’s looks. It felt good!
And I feel much younger (or maybe not) after listening to this … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxKeCmTCDV4