It’s been a difficult week (late on the blog entry) on several fronts, but when I feel the need to laugh, I think about a recent conversation with my mother. I hesitated to write about it, but it is too surreal not to share. I hope I do not offend anyone.
Mom uses a nebulizer (a machine that brings medicine to her lungs, using a tube and a mouthpiece she breathes through) twice a day. She regularly refers to it as her ‘blow job’. “It’s time for my blow job,” she’ll say. And I’ll chuckle, believing she doesn’t realize what the term refers to. This has been going on for awhile and it’s a bit of a joke between my husband, David and I.
So, I’m talking to David on the phone while sitting at the dining room table with Mom, the sound of the nebulizer in the background. He asks, “What’s that noise?”
“Mom’s doing her blow job,” I reply.
My mother turns to me with horror in her eyes. “Don’t say that to him.”
She has never even blinked when hearing this in the past and I am stunned…and a bit curious. “Why not?”
Her chin goes up a little and her eyebrows flair as she replies, “He’ll think I’m a bad woman.”
Again, I am stunned! “You know what it means?”
“Yeeeeeeees (drawing the word out). Don’t youuuuuuu?”
Now my eyebrows flair and I can’t respond. Is she teasing me? David is laughing on the other end of the line. I’m shaking my head and she looks ready to explain…so I think better of it and nod madly instead. Calmly, she puts the mouthpiece back in her mouth and turns a page of the cookbook she is reading.
Yet another chat for the list I keep…Conversations I never thought I’d have with my mother.